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Most all of us are or will be caregivers sometime during our lives. If you make regular visits to an elderly family member, drive an injured friend to a doctor's appointment, or get involved to be sure your mother is safe in her home - you are a caregiver.
As the population of aging members of our communities grows, the ranks of family caregivers are swelling. One out of four households in the U.S. and Canada care for a senior loved one. Many of us are primary caregivers for elderly family members.
About 10,000 Americans and Canadians become unexpected and unprepared caregivers daily . By the time you finish reading this article, 5 more people will have become caregivers.
Today there are more than 2.5 million home-based family caregivers in the United States experiencing depression, stress and declines in their health, according to a study released by the National Alliance for Caregiving. You need to be concerned about your own caregiver burnout at the same time as treatment of possible depression in caring for the elderly.
It can be intensely lonely as an adult child caring for an elderly parent. Care giving daughters and sons often experience difficulty dealing with elderly parents who may not be appreciating their help, and even resisting it.
The time-consuming tasks, tough decisions, and care giving arrangements for which typical caregivers are responsible can strain and drain, both emotionally and financially. Feelings of guilt, frustration and resentment are common when the demands of care giving are prolonged, and are even more stressful if other family members disagree about care giving. There are many issues with both medical and nonmedical elderly care.
I'm thankful that when my family was faced with the declining health and mobility of my father, Robert (or Bob) Holt, that we pulled together. It was very difficult time for Dad, Mom and everyone else in the family. We helped my parents seek the best healthcare and to take the steps so Dad could stay in his house as long as possible. With help of the family doctor, and others including an occupational therapist, we got help assessing what changes my parents needed to make to best support them. My father was outfitted with a walker, we added some assistive devices and made some modifications to my parents home to make it more accessible. In later years, we brought nursing services to my parent's home. For a few years we muddled through some difficult times.
There is no ready manual on how to be a caregiver for an elderly family member. It turns out that most people are not educated or knowledgeable about how to care for their elderly parents. Many people are suddenly thrown into the position as a caregiver without warning due to an illness, injury, or surgery. If we prepare and become more educated about this subject it will enable us to be better caregivers and to make this responsibility much easier.
I've talked to many other caregivers, who are juggling many different demands on their time, aging parents, kids, work, managing a household. Everyone I speak to who has been cast into the role of caregiver for an elderly parent wanted to know how to find the basic information. Who and what is available in terms of help? What are the support systems and services for family caregivers?
I spent an exorbitant amount of time searching for assistance, trying to learn how to best help my parents, at the same time juggling a demanding job and parenting 2 kids. I had difficultly finding a resource where I could save time. Ideally it would be online and I could search after getting the kids to bed. An authoritative, easy answers service was needed for the same type of caregiver problems that millions of people in the US and Canada are facing everyday.
Much of the information, I uncovered on caregiving for an elder family member, was only addressing a small part of what we needed to know . We were required to interface with many different people and organizations, with their own areas of specialization. For example, we met with different individuals (including my father's family doctor, an occupational therapist and a physiotherapist) as well as medical equipment providers and building contractors. It seemed that I needed to try to span the information gap between the different disciplines from health care professionals to home renovators. I wanted to find a place where I could find some basic information of where to start and how to help my parents.
This is what inspired me to start Accessibility Professionals; a trusted source I hope helps you on your care-giving journey. My hope is that Accessibility Professionals can help you in going about Caring for An Aging Parent.
The good news is there are many things you can do to help your loved ones preserve independence in later years . I hope I can help your elderly loved one and yourself with some easy to use advice on elderly caregiving.
We're always adding new information to introduce helpful experiences, innovative products and services and changes, which affect caregivers and their loved ones. AccessibilityPro.com is organized so that information can be easily found depending on your needs. We offer a series of articles and tested links to professional advice and services.
H ere is some general advice that applies to someone who finds herself or himself in a caregiving role for an elderly parent, friend or other family member.
1) Take a deep breath and care for yourself.
This may be the most important advice you receive throughout the Care giving journey. All along the way, remember to pause and clear your mind and relax.
There are many family caregivers out there without anybody helping them, it's best to find some help before you get to the point where you can't be a caregiver anymore, caregiver burnout is a real risk.
Remember to acknowledge your own feelings. Perhaps you realized this moment was coming, perhaps not. It is very likely you'll find unsettling emotions bubbling through the surface. Allow yourself time to experience them. Do things to comfort yourself such as taking a long bath, having coffee with some friends and finding some quiet time to relax and close your eyes.
For more information the article Caring For The Caregiver
2) Determine how your parent is managing?
How is your parent or older friend or family member finding managing the daily tasks in the home? Is it more difficult? Do you worry about the health and safety of a parent living alone?
Watch for clues that certain daily activities have become too difficult because of physical or mental changes. Are bills going unpaid? Is the person neglecting grooming or skipping meals? Does the home appear unkempt?
Recognize that loss of sight; hearing loss, memory loss, confusion, incontinence and depression are not normal aspects of aging. In many, if not most cases, these are treatable conditions. (They could also be the result of prescription drugs interactions or side effects.) Failure to identify these conditions as being treatable could place elderly patients at risk of unnecessary functional decline.
Be aware that one of the greatest risks is falling, as falling accounts for 4 of every 5 injury-related hospitalizations by seniors and 20% of deaths related to an injury!
As abilities and strength diminish, families and other caregivers must often help the older person obtain the assistance needed to maintain independence.
Assess your elderly loved ones skills and determine the resources you need.
Be aware of dementia and Alzheimers disease and how if effects the family.
3) Talking about changing living arrangements with parents, family and professionals
It's best to introduce changes to the person's living environment or to consider a move to more accessible housing before safety issues put your loved one at serious risk for an accident.
It's important to talk about making changes to your aging loved one. This isn't always possible, but it's best to allow them as much independence as circumstances permit. Remember that the caregiver's role is to help them maintain as much control over their lives as feasible, this includes allowing them to make their own decisions unless the decisions become harmful to them. The more you can consult with them, consider their desires, and truly respect them, the smoother the transition in your relationship will be.
Often, your parent or loved one is facing losses in other areas of life and possibly will show a strong resistance to change.
Introduce the idea of change through small, less intrusive modifications in the guise of gifts or services when you notice a need. For example, while replacing hard-to-reach light bulbs upgrade the wattage for improved visibility (be sure not to exceed maximum wattage recommendations).
Make sure that everyone on the caregiving team has the information they need. Make a list of emergency numbers, family contact numbers and other items and distribute it to those who might need it. Family members should know how to locate legal, financial and medical documents. Examples of these are: powers of attorney, living wills, investment account statements and health insurance policies in case of emergency.
If the senior is still living at home, make sure you and others involved have keys to the residence in case of emergency.
It's very important to get the ideas of other family members and to take advantage of professional advice.
Keep good notes. Whenever you talk to a doctor, lawyer, insurance company, service agency, government office or advocacy organization, write down the date and the name of the person you spoke with, contact information and the substance of the conversation. Keep separate files for different areas of concern -- financial topics, medical affairs and so on.
Even though this may sound unnecessarily pessimistic, never assume that the professional and medical personnel who are helping you with your loved one will do what they promise. If you don't actively follow-up, you may set yourself up for disappointment. While they made their promises with the best of intentions, these professional people are extremely busy and have other people to care for in addition to your loved one. They may honestly forget a commitment made to you. Bottom line -- the more you become involved with the care and other affairs of your loved one, the more satisfied you will be with your caregiving experience.
Enlist the help of an occupational therapist to aid you in identifying ways to improve safety in the home and to modify the environment to help compensate for disabilities your loved one may be experiencing. Occupational therapists and occupational therapy assistants are specialists in helping people to deal with the effects of illness and injury on their ability to manage daily life.
4) Modifying the Home Environment
Many aging people face limitations on independence in their homes only because the design and arrangement of their home no longer meet their needs.
Topics range from removing tripping hazards to household adaptations or repairs needed, offer to help the individual make the right choices and deal with service and product providers.
Our goal is to assist both individuals and caregivers explore and implement changes that improve your own or your loved ones quality of life.
This is a large topic, which I've divided into a number of subject areas to make it easier for you to find the information most helpful to your own situation. A good place to start is the article Home Safety Tips for Seniors, which will direct you to different topics.
I've dedicated Accessibility Professionals to helping individuals and families live safely, comfortably and independently.
Remember you are not alone, as millions of people are dealing with the same issues. Be assured, help is out there.
The purpose of Accessibility Professionals is not to offer medical advice. We strongly recommend that you discuss your particular situation with your primary physician and other professionals.
5) Introducing and Supporting Change
Explore implementing changes in ways that may make them more acceptable to your aging loved one. For example, many elderly people are concerned about conserving resources for future needs for themselves or their spouses. Others have little experience with making the required changes and may fear dealing with product and service providers.
Try building suggestions around your personal concern for your loved one, as this is less threatening to their independence. For example, "I worry about you falling on those dark basement stairs. As a birthday gift, we are going to make sure your stairs are safe and well-lighted."
6) Gather details about your loved one's physicians, health insurance, etc.
Some of the information you will need is:
Names, phone numbers and addresses of the senior's doctors, dentist and pharmacy (be sure to include complete details about any arrangements the senior has made for discount prescriptions).
Copies of health insurance policies and the front and back of all insurance cards; if your loved one is 65 or older, you will need a copy of his or her Medicare card. (In the United States Medicare has prepared a helpful online booklet, "Medicare & You 2007." To download it, go to
Medicare and You- 2007 Official Government Handbook
It includes a summary of Medicare's benefits; rights and protections; answers to the most frequently asked questions about Medicare, and information about Medicare's new prescription drug coverage.)
Make a list of all medications (prescription drugs, over-the-counter drugs such as aspirin, antacids, herbal remedies, nutritional supplements -- even daily multi-vitamins), dosage amounts and instructions for taking them (time of day, with food or between meals, etc.).
Take this list with you to ALL of your loved one's medical appointments to help avoid dangerous prescription drugs interactions.
Complete health history (also take this with you to all of your loved one's medical appointments), date and results of recent medical tests, including exams, x-rays, CT scans and MRIs. If possible, include major illness and medical conditions for your loved one's parents, brothers and sisters.
Learn as much as possible about the medical condition afflicting the senior. Talk to his or her doctors. Conduct research on the Internet. Talk to organizations and associations for information about the disorder.
7) Legal and Financial Issues
Find out if the senior has the proper legal aids and documents in place. Has someone been appointed to take care of business and make health care decisions in case of temporary or permanent disability? Has the senior made clear their wishes for end-of-life care? If necessary, consult an attorney specializing in elder law. These are some of the documents you should help the senior prepare if they have not already done so:
• Will
• Power of attorney for finances
• Power of attorney for health care
• Living will
Investigate your loved one's health insurance matters. What kind of coverage do they have? Are they eligible for Medicare benefits or Medicaid? If so, are they enrolled properly? Do they have a long term care insurance policy in place? If so, what exactly does it cover? Do they have any coverage through a private pension plan or retirement package.
Explore other available financial resources. What assets does he or she have? Do they own real estate? How much is their home worth? How much is in savings accounts, IRAs, stocks and bonds and other investments? What is his or her monthly income from Social Security, other government programs, private pension plans, CDs, other bank accounts, annuities and investments?
8) Explore Community Resources
Take a crash course in community resources. Find out about senior centers and adult day services in the senior's area. What are the best home health agencies around? What meal delivery and transportation support options are available?
Even if this is an acute crisis likely to pass, start gathering information about assisted living facilities and other long-term care options. When the time comes, you will want to be able to offer the senior a range of options to choose from.
As your time is valuable it may be less expensive and just as reliable for you to shop online and have the supplies delivered to your senior.
